I'm proud of myself for what I've done so far, but I do regret one thing: the amount of time it took for me to get back in the saddle. Like many barns, trainers are extremely invested in their competitive clientele. The Difference Between Postpartum Blues, Postpartum Mood Disorders (Postpartum Depression, Postpartum Anxiety), and Postpartum Psychosis. It was about the breeches, but not just about the breeches, you know? I love being there for my daughter but there are days when the fussiness and neediness can make you want to clock out of being a mom for even just an hour. Jlullaby: stay at home mom blog. Now, there were several things that contributed to this decision.
I find myself jumping at the opportunity to have an adult conversation when I get the chance. And then comes the mom guilt. Stay-at-Home Mom Struggles. While I have sent direct messages to companies asking when they are going to start representing plus-sized riders, I made an executive decision that I will be the representation. I was embarrassed to say the least. I felt uncomfortable and clumsy. As I continue down this journey to find myself again — as a rider and as a woman — I'm starting to notice things that I didn't see before. Every single lesson, every afternoon I spend with Duchess is self-care for me.
Most days a majority of my conversations are had with a one-year-old. Jlullaby: stay at home mom. Contrary to what you may see on social media, there are wealthy horse girls and not-so-wealthy horse girls. When I heard the term "Stay-at-home mom" before I had my daughter, I envisioned a woman that was home all day with her kids doing fun activities, having fun playdates, doing some cooking and cleaning, but also having some time to herself. Childcare was another contributing factor.
Maybe my reach isn't that far, but if there's one other self-conscious mother at the barn who sees me and my mom bod rocking riding clothes and starts to feel a little more confident to do the same, then it's worth it. The biggest being the fact that I had my daughter right at the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic and believed the best way to keep her safe was to be home with her. While she is cute, her incoherent babbling doesn't add a lot to conversation; It becomes very easy to get stuck in your own head talking to yourself. We have jobs, and we stay at home with our children. Jlullaby: stay at home moms. Shortly after having my daughter, I made the decision to be a stay-at-home mom. It's a scenario where neither one wins 100% of the time. This meant no play dates, no activities like story time at the library, no coffee dates with other moms while your kids play, or just going wherever we wanted without restrictions or worries. Somehow, as I transitioned into my new role as a mother, I lost my identity.
Brought to you by a pack of horse-crazy creatives across North America... and all of their rescue pets. Buy yourself a new pair of breeches in whatever size that makes you feel good and in whatever color you want; tuck in your shirt and put on a belt without worrying about your mom pooch. And one thing was clear after my first day back: horses make me happy. When you are a SAHM this does not happen. Pull your boots out of the closet and shine them up. Say hello, introduce yourself to the other riders, and start rebuilding your community. You are a strong, beautiful, horse girl and that part of you is so important. If it's not that it is the literal CONSTANT interruptions that make it impossible to maintain a train of thought that lasts more than 5 minutes. But, it also brought things no one warned me about. A lot of SAHM make the same decision and many more moms had to work from home when covid hit. If you give your child attention you are not working hard enough and if you give your work all the attention you feel like you are neglecting your child. I was that girl who spent all day at the barn, constantly setting goals and preparing for the next show. More Than Just 'Mom': Returning to Horses Made Me Feel Like Myself Aga –. So, to my fellow new mothers out there, pick up your phone and make the call to the barn.
Was I selfish to want time to myself, to do something just because I wanted to do it? Granted covid made it worse but even now I feel it. During high school and college, I was in that category. For whatever reason I have convinced myself that it would be good for me, and it would be a great example to show my daughter what a rockstar her mom was. I literally do not know how I would do it. Staying home with her, doing activities, cooking all her meals, and working. I chose black, of course, in an attempt to find something slimming. Women make up such a huge part of the riding community. Setting foot in the tack shop for the first time was daunting as I skimmed past the smaller sizes I used to wear to look for a pair that fit. It is making memories in the chaos, juggling more than you ever thought possible, and trying to maintain your identity while being a mom 24/7. If it is one conversation, it is worth it. I have this incredibly powerful animal, able to cause an enormous amount of harm if she wanted to but is instead willing to take care of me. Remote work became the go to and the ultimate test to every mother's sanity who had to do it. They might have an extra-large in stock, but I'm left guessing how it will fit my body.
This is the thing, when you decide to stay home the vision you have in your head for how thing are going to be and how they really are, are vastly different. It brought postpartum depression and anxiety. It is income free hard work and now that I am in it, I appreciate it so much more. Photography by Mallory Hicks. It didn't help when I rolled my ankle dismounting the first time. I was bigger than before and I was self-conscious of my newly acquired mommy tummy.
In general, when you work outside the home you get to come home and be away from your job until the next workday. Stay-at-home mom means a woman who doesn't work outside the home because she's raising a child or children. I drifted away from friends, I quit my job, and I stopped riding horses. I left sore and tired but I was elated. My post-pregnancy body looked different. It's not about winning big anymore; it is about overcoming daily obstacles and celebrating little victories by just getting out there and doing what I want to do.
That's when it hit me. You layered that with the struggle to pump with a demanding job and I felt as though I was going to have to make the choice between my job and continuing to breast feed. For probably the hundredth time, I asked myself the same question … is this even worth it? She has no problem contently playing alone until I pull out my laptop to work and suddenly, she is drawn in as if my laptop was calling her name. Mainly it is finding our strength as women and realizing just how much we are capable of. Do fathers go through patrescence? Ultimately, I had to order a pair online, which was demoralizing.
You know the old saying "when your baby sleeps, you sleep"? After all the build up and anxiety, I wish I could say the first time back in the saddle was this perfectly magical homecoming where everything simply clicked and I picked up exactly where I left off. Was it right to be away from my son? We had childcare figured out before I was even pregnant, but because the household had someone working as an essential employee in the medical field, we could not continue to risk potential exposure to my daughter. That's what got me into those breeches and out the door to my find myself again. Reflecting on my journey back to horses, that might be the biggest lesson I've learned. We could not afford outside childcare and knew the right choice was for me to stay home. Well, housewife doesn't imply that there are children involved. Written by Editorial Staff. I had all these ideas during my pregnancy about all the thing I would do with my daughter, and just like, I was not going to be able to do them. I have had to figure out how to do my work when and where I can. My current horse is Duchess, and she's the first mare I've really developed a friendship with. I honestly think this can be the hardest part about being a SAHM not having anyone one to talk to or relate to throughout the day, especially when you are having a tough day. I am blessed to be able to be home with my daughter and watch her grow but I think there is so much about the SAHM world that can be underappreciated and so much harder than it seems from the outside.
However, trying to work while being a SAHM is strenuous.